[-Data Entry 9 – The Tales of Tails –]
[-SUBJECT OF RESEARCH-]: The Director and The Director's Director, and the matter of their lack of fluffy tail. A matter which is generally not discussed, but which the Ghoulies have taken quite an interest in learning more about.
[-NOTE FROM THE DIRECTOR AND THE DIRECTOR'S DIRECTOR-]: Sorry about the lateness of this update, everyone. As you know, we intended to have this report completed on Yuki's birthday, but the outside world has its ways of mucking things up. M̸h̴m̶m̵,̵ ̷D̶a̴r̴l̸i̷n̴g̵ ̷a̷n̴d̷ ̴I̸ ̷h̸o̴p̷e̸ ̵y̵o̷u̴ ̴s̵t̸i̴l̷l̶ ̶e̶n̷j̸o̸y̵ ̶E̷n̸t̴r̸y̷ ̶9̶.̶ ̸A̸s̶ ̷e̵m̸b̴a̴r̶r̸a̶s̴s̵i̸n̵g̸ ̷a̵s̷ ̶i̴t̷ ̶m̷i̵g̴h̶t̷ ̴b̷e̶.̶ ̴~̴ ̷Y-yeah, as is the way of things sometimes.
[-SCOPE OF RESEARCH-]: To explain and expunge upon a question posed by The Chaos Gumi as to why The Director and his wife do not in fact have visible tails. Both the Director and the Director's Director tend to find this question rather embarrassing but have agreed to divulge this report for the Dir's Director's birthday.
[-Report 09 – The Tales of Two Tails –]
D̵a̸r̶l̶i̶n̸g̷ ̴s̷a̴i̸d̴ ̶I̸ ̶s̷h̷o̵u̷l̶d̵ ̴p̶r̷o̷b̸a̶b̶l̶y̶ ̵g̸o̶ ̸f̷i̵r̵s̵t̴,̴ ̴s̷o̷ ̸h̶e̵r̷e̸ ̵g̴o̴e̵s̵ ̶n̴o̵t̶h̷i̵n̵g̴.̶.̴.̵ ̷ ̵T̷h̵e̸ ̵r̷e̴a̵s̷o̶n̸ ̸I̶ ̶h̶a̷v̵e̸ ̷n̸o̶ ̴v̸i̷s̷i̵b̸l̵e̸ ̵t̶a̴i̸l̸?̴ ̷W̵-̷w̸e̶l̵l̷.̶.̵.̵ ̶ ̵T̴h̷e̶ ̵y̷e̶a̵r̴ ̸w̵a̴s̵ ̸1̸9̵8̵7̴,̸ ̷w̴h̷e̷n̵ ̵m̴y̵.̵.̶.̵ ̶”̸a̸b̵i̴l̶i̶t̵i̶e̴s̷”̵ ̵b̸e̶g̶a̵n̴ ̷t̵o̶ ̵c̵o̵m̷e̸ ̵t̶h̸r̸o̵u̴g̸h̴.̶ ̴M̸y̵ ̷m̸o̸m̶ ̷h̵a̸d̶ ̸s̸a̶i̵d̴ ̵i̴t̴ ̸w̴a̵s̶ ̴j̴u̸s̷t̶ ̶p̵u̶b̷e̷r̴t̶y̸,̶ ̵t̴h̸a̷t̶ ̶I̶ ̷w̸a̶s̷ ̸j̷u̶s̷t̴ ̸”̵b̴e̵c̶o̷m̴i̶n̷g̶ ̵a̵ ̷w̷o̴m̷a̵n̸,̷”̸ ̶b̷u̶t̵ ̴t̵w̷o̷ ̴l̸o̴n̶g̸,̷ ̷t̷w̶i̴r̸l̶i̷n̷g̶ ̷c̸a̸t̴ ̶t̶a̴i̴l̶s̴ ̵a̸n̷d̷ ̷s̶u̶p̵e̸r̵ ̷a̴d̵o̴r̸a̵b̸l̶e̷ ̶c̶a̶t̸ ̷e̸a̶r̸s̸ ̷a̵r̸e̷ ̸n̴o̵t̶ ̶w̶h̸a̵t̷ ̷h̵u̶m̷a̴n̶s̵ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̷d̶ ̴c̴a̶l̵l̸ ̴p̷u̸b̵e̵r̴t̸y̵.̴ ̴E̶v̵e̸n̴t̸u̶a̵l̵l̸y̸ ̴t̴h̴o̵u̸g̷h̵,̶ ̴a̷s̶ ̵m̶y̸ ̴t̷r̵a̸i̷n̴i̸n̷g̷ ̴w̶i̵t̷h̷i̵n̴ ̸t̸h̷e̸ ̴I̸s̶h̸i̶z̵u̵k̸i̸ ̷C̶l̵a̸n̶ ̸c̷o̴n̴t̷i̶n̶u̷e̴d̵,̷ ̴m̴y̵ ̷b̷o̴s̶s̵ ̶h̴a̴t̷e̷d̷ ̵m̷e̵ ̸m̷o̸r̶e̴ ̷a̷n̴d̸ ̸m̷o̶r̴e̶ ̸a̸s̸ ̴m̵y̷ ̷t̴a̸i̴l̷s̷ ̶g̶r̴e̸w̶ ̵i̴n̶ ̴n̷u̸m̵b̸e̷r̷ ̶a̶n̸d̷ ̴m̶y̶ ̸e̷a̷r̵s̴ ̵b̷e̸c̶o̷m̵e̷ ̴m̵o̵r̵e̵ ̵p̷r̴o̷m̸i̵n̶e̸n̴t̴.̶ ̶ ̸ ̸”̴G̵e̶t̸ ̴t̴h̷o̷s̸e̴ ̸f̴u̷c̶k̷i̸n̶g̵ ̵t̶h̶i̴n̵g̸s̷ ̸t̵r̴i̸m̴m̶e̸d̴ ̸o̷r̴ ̷s̷o̸m̴e̴t̶h̷i̵n̸g̶,̶ ̴b̸i̸t̷c̷h̶!̸”̶ ̷I̵s̷h̷i̴z̷u̵k̶i̷-̷s̷a̸m̵a̴ ̴h̶a̷d̷ ̸s̴a̴i̴d̴,̶ ̷o̸v̶e̶r̷ ̵h̵a̵r̷d̷ ̸n̵i̷g̸h̵t̵'̶s̴ ̵d̷r̷i̶n̵k̵i̶n̷g̸ ̶a̵n̸d̸ ̴p̸h̵i̴l̴a̷n̸d̶e̵r̵i̸n̵g̵ ̶w̶i̷t̷h̵ ̴m̵y̶ ̷m̶o̵t̵h̵e̶r̷.̷ ̶I̷ ̶w̴o̵u̸l̶d̷ ̴h̸a̷v̶e̷ ̷t̵o̵o̷,̴ ̸i̴f̸ ̸I̶ ̴h̵a̷d̷ ̷e̴v̷e̶r̴ ̶h̴a̴d̷ ̸t̴h̸e̶ ̷c̸h̶o̸i̸c̷e̶ ̷t̶o̶ ̷d̶e̷c̵i̷d̵e̶.̷ ̸ ̶ ̴F̴o̴r̸ ̷a̸ ̴f̴e̵w̷ ̶y̶e̷a̶r̸s̵,̷ ̶t̴i̷l̷l̸ ̴a̴b̶o̶u̷t̴ ̵1̷9̵9̸0̶.̶.̶a̸s̸ ̵I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̴ ̸c̵l̴i̷m̴b̸i̶n̴g̴ ̷t̸h̴e̶ ̶l̷a̷d̷d̸e̸r̶ ̸o̴f̴ ̴t̶h̸e̶ ̷I̴s̴h̴i̴z̸u̶k̶i̴ ̶c̸l̷a̵n̷,̴ ̶m̶y̶ ̵t̷a̴i̷l̴s̸ ̶b̴e̵g̷a̴n̸ ̷t̴o̸ ̸g̴r̴o̵w̵ ̵i̵n̵ ̵n̸u̷m̶b̵e̸r̴.̵ ̶T̶h̵a̴t̷ ̶w̵a̵s̷.̸.̶.̶u̵n̴t̸i̷l̶ ̵i̶t̷ ̵h̷a̸p̶p̴e̵n̵e̶d̵.̷ ̶A̶s̴ ̵I̸ ̷w̶a̸s̴ ̴s̷l̷e̸e̷p̴i̷n̴g̷ ̴t̷h̷a̶t̵ ̵n̴i̵g̴h̸t̷,̴ ̵K̵u̴r̶e̷-̵s̴a̸n̵ ̴c̴a̵m̶e̶ ̵i̵n̶t̶o̵ ̸m̵y̶ ̵r̵o̸o̵m̸ ̷w̵i̶t̸h̵i̵n̸ ̶t̸h̷e̶ ̶e̵s̷t̸a̴t̴e̷ ̵-̸ ̶a̶ ̴b̵a̸t̴h̵r̶o̵o̶m̴ ̷r̵e̸a̷l̶l̶y̴,̶ ̸a̵n̵d̶ ̵s̸l̵i̷c̶e̵d̴ ̵m̷y̸ ̴a̵l̴l̷ ̶5̶ ̴o̸f̴ ̸m̶y̶ ̶N̵e̵k̵o̸m̷a̷t̷a̴ ̶t̵a̵i̶l̸s̸ ̴o̶f̷f̷ ̵t̷o̷ ̷t̸h̸e̴ ̷s̶t̵u̸m̷p̸s̴.̸ ̶N̷o̶t̸ ̸u̶n̶t̶i̷l̴ ̸t̴h̵e̷ ̸m̴o̵r̷n̵i̸n̷g̵ ̵d̷i̴d̴ ̸I̴ ̶f̴i̶n̴a̷l̷l̶y̷ ̸w̷a̶k̸e̶ ̸u̴p̵ ̷a̸n̴d̷ ̷s̷c̶r̵e̴a̶m̶.̶ ̷ ̷ ̵S̴c̴r̴e̷a̷m̸i̸n̸g̴ ̷b̵l̶o̵o̷d̶y̴ ̶m̵u̴r̷d̶e̴r̷,̷ ̵a̴s̵ ̷I̷ ̵a̷w̵o̴k̵e̴ ̸i̵n̵ ̷a̶ ̵p̵o̷o̴l̸ ̶o̴f̶ ̶m̵y̷ ̸o̴w̷n̶ ̷g̵o̷r̵e̸,̶ ̷I̸ ̴s̸c̵r̶e̴a̴m̸e̴d̴ ̸k̴n̷o̴w̴i̵n̵g̶ ̵n̵o̵ ̸o̴n̵e̴ ̵w̸o̴u̶l̴d̶ ̸a̷n̷s̸w̷e̶r̶ ̴m̴y̴ ̸c̴a̸l̷l̷s̵.̶ ̵E̵v̶e̴n̴t̸u̶a̷l̸l̴y̶,̴ ̵t̶h̵e̷ ̸p̵a̵i̵n̷ ̵s̵u̸b̴s̶i̸d̵e̵d̶ ̷a̷n̸d̵ ̵w̶a̶s̸ ̵r̷e̷p̸l̵a̷c̴e̸d̷ ̸w̶i̷t̵h̵ ̸o̸n̷l̸y̷ ̷a̸n̵g̶e̴r̴.̶ ̶ ̴ ̵F̸o̶r̴ ̶t̷h̸e̵ ̶n̴e̸x̵t̴ ̷e̵i̵g̸h̷t̴ ̴y̶e̸a̵r̷s̸,̶ ̷I̵ ̸w̶o̵u̴l̴d̴ ̷t̷r̸a̷i̸n̵ ̵a̴n̷d̷ ̶k̵i̸l̸l̶ ̵m̴y̸ ̷w̶a̷y̴ ̶t̴o̷ ̷t̷h̴e̶ ̷t̵o̷p̶,̵ ̵a̴n̸d̵ ̴w̸e̵l̶l̷.̵.̴y̸o̴u̴ ̷k̸n̵o̸w̷ ̷t̷h̸e̷ ̸r̶e̷s̵t̶.̵ ̶A̴f̶t̷e̷r̴ ̵a̸s̸c̸e̴n̸s̵i̷o̵n̸,̷ ̵I̴ ̶l̶e̶a̵r̶n̷e̶d̵ ̶t̴h̷a̸t̸.̵.̸.̷t̷h̷e̷y̵ ̴w̶e̷r̶e̶ ̶s̶t̴i̵l̶l̸ ̸t̸h̶e̵r̶e̸.̸ ̸M̷y̶ ̵t̴a̴i̴l̷s̴.̵.̷.̵I̵ ̵c̶a̵n̴ ̶f̸e̶e̴l̷ ̵t̴h̴e̴m̷,̴ ̴a̸n̵d̴ ̴t̴h̴r̵o̷u̸g̶h̶ ̷a̵s̵c̵e̴n̷s̸i̴o̴n̵ ̶I̶ ̸c̴a̴n̶ ̴u̴s̵e̶ ̴t̸h̷e̵m̵ ̸a̴s̴ ̸i̷f̴ ̵t̵h̴e̵y̵'̷r̸e̷ ̷r̵e̸a̸l̷l̴y̶ ̷t̶h̷e̸r̸e̶.̷ ̷I̴t̶'̵s̵ ̵w̷e̴i̶r̸d̶l̵y̸ ̸c̶h̸a̴r̸m̵i̶n̷g̴,̸ ̷t̶h̵a̶t̶ ̶e̷v̷e̸n̸ ̵i̸n̴ ̶d̷e̷a̵t̵h̵ ̸I̴ ̴h̴a̴v̶e̴ ̴m̶o̸r̷e̶ ̷t̷h̴a̶n̴ ̸I̴ ̸d̸i̷d̶ ̶w̴h̶e̸n̴ ̵I̸ ̵w̸a̸s̸ ̶a̵l̶i̴v̶e̶.̴ ̴~̵ ̷A̷n̴y̴w̴h̵o̵,̷ ̶D̷a̵r̷l̸i̶n̷g̵?̶ ̴W̷h̶a̶t̷'̷s̵ ̶y̷o̸u̶r̸ ̷s̵i̸d̶e̸?̶ ̴ ̴
[Here, Mrs. Mirahiru fidgets in her seat and looks at The Director beside her, pensively]
Well, mine is a shorter story. Short, depending on how much we really want to discuss the intricacies of genetic modification in the Omegian Empire. That is is to say, mine isn't quite as graphic as Yuki's, but it hurts all the same. Shortly after escaping from Dr. Alleyce and Dr. Espair's laboratory, I was faced with the reality of my situation.
I looked Omegian, which is to say humanoid and of indistinct human cultural background. However, upon even a cursory glance you can tell I wasn't and am not, human. I realized then, as I stood upon the crest of the hill outside Mechcropolis that I needed to choose.
So, I cut off my tail.
Now, doing so with an improvised cutting element right outside town might have been a mistake in hindsight, but if it meant not being relegated to the usual treatment of escaped experiments and genetic abnormalities then it was worth it. What usually happened when you were “abnormal” in the empire, is that you were either enslaved, sent to work under the government in the military, or executed as a pox upon the populace. However, when there are only “slight” deformities such as animal ears, or some such deformity as to be expected of exposure to Omegian environs it is possible to eek out a life.
Thus, I lived in Mechcropolis for a time. My tail having been fashioned into the coat you regularly see me wearing on stream.
[-Mrs. Mirahiru gasps here, and hugs The Director tightly-]
[-Report 09 completed, fairly graphically.–]
Thank you for reading this highly delayed report, we will hazard to complete them more timely in the future.